-People on okc thinking that putting ‘dEaTh MeTaL’ in my top six things I can’t live without isn’t a joke.
“Are you sure?”
Only liars know they’re sure
“I don’t know what to expect.”
English class is for daydreams:
Kalidescope boys running down streets,
skating, cursing, temporary tattoos,
wet in the grass and
beckoning me with broad flat hands
What I recall is splitting
like the curve of an apple,
That being full is
like growing roots,
my hips fit your hips,
arms snaked into the tilt of my waist.
After I sleep dead and sweet
and tell no one.
The only difference is:
a new appreciation for pain
Shameless eye candy
crackle snap pop w/
sweet, dead eyes that speak
Maybe its ‘cause yr
flicking the switch for my
but, the sweetness in
your little ass, strong solid
waist and curving cut arms
school girl crushing.
Tonight I talked a guy into thinking I was nothing special. He said:
"Come on babe, kareoke!"
And I said ” No, no, go drink go sing.”
And he said,
"But I’m looking for you, they aren’t a dime a dozen."
And I said, “Yes they are” and
beast and foliage
beast and concrete
home is wherever
yr marrow can find bone
There is a path that beats
There is a border of moss and
Golden, silent spaces, ignorance.
There is glittering slabs of stone
Clear panes to watch yr neighbor
‘Knowing’ that is monitored.
That is the precipice,
That is the corner, where
What you want to see &
What you have and have had to see
There is a river running down
The roundness of you
Like mountains ever rising
And great peaked paths your bones make
Everywhere and no where
And don’t say, don’t speak
No fine print, just still
Our names aren’t there
But our bones, our blood is.
in the sediment that is falling
in the sediment that is rising
Creation & desolation
The things our skins
Can build & break
Today I wake up in Daly CIty, pull back the curtain & there’s BART flying past, so big & I didn’t even know it was there till that curtain got drawn. Guess I slept naked under a Spongebob blanket between two strangers.
I remember I cried cause I couldn’t help it, when I drink, when my mind gets loose I can’t keep it in & I can’t help but see. There is a guy sleeping on the floor, “Fuck! Someone pissed on me.” “That was you man.” he gets up comes back w/ a Corona. “What time is it?” I ask.
10 O’ CLOCK in the AM babyyyyyyyy
I have to go. We fuck in the bathroom a pen holding back my hair (a trick my mother uses) then his sweetbrownnesss passing over me as he washes me off, even my face.
That roommates on a second Corona & has a deck of cards. “Pick one” he drawls in Portuguese. It’s one of those card tricks. He does it twice to finish his Corona, never gets my card & I don’t cheat him. “We’ll drive you home” I stumble down the stoop steps in my heels, my feet are beat by the city. On the porch I stand still for a minute and look. It could be anywhere. And across the street is a playground packed w/ kids, just playing. While I stalk by them on six inches in all black get into a gangster’s dream car, massive black SUV & this Corona man driving. Dropped home I call a cab. I have brunch. Waiting for it to come I sit nauseous and smoking a cigarette while I watch flies cover a dead baby bird in front of my steps.
-pull the adhesive heating pack I’ve been wearing all day off.
-change bloody, hideous underwear.
-throw away the pile of condoms previously known as the trash can.
-roll a cigarette
-stop watching Black Books
-make sure there isn’t any shit on the cat.
-muster the will to have sex with a boy who talks too much. i swear working in retail makes you wish that everyone would just shut the fuck up. At least while i’m trying to orgasm.