Ice Cream Cones & Smokes

Things that I don’t understand:

-People on okc thinking that putting ‘dEaTh MeTaL’ in my top six things I can’t live without isn’t a joke.

Revision: One for the virgins

“Are you sure?”

Only liars know they’re sure

Instead 

“I don’t know what to expect.”

~

English class is for daydreams:

Kalidescope boys running down streets,

skating, cursing, temporary tattoos,

wet in the grass and

beckoning me with broad flat hands

~

What I recall is splitting 

like the curve of an apple,

That being full is

like growing roots,

and that

my hips fit your hips,

arms snaked into the tilt of my waist.

~

After I sleep dead and sweet

and tell no one.

The only difference is:

a new appreciation for pain

Barista

Shameless eye candy

crackle snap pop w/

sweet, dead eyes that speak

Maybe its ‘cause yr

flicking the switch for my

caffeine fix

but, the sweetness in

your little ass, strong solid 

waist and curving cut arms

turns me

school girl crushing.

Jeezy chreezy.

Tonight I talked a guy into thinking I was nothing special.  He said:

"Come on babe, kareoke!"

And I said ” No, no, go drink go sing.”

                 And he said,

"But I’m looking for you, they aren’t a dime a dozen."

                 And I said, “Yes they are” and 

                nodded and

                smiled.

seensense:

“Une femme est une femme”

seensense:

“Une femme est une femme”

(via li-l-i)

normajeanemonroe:

1951: Marilyn performs a cartwheel, photograph by Anthony Beauchamp

normajeanemonroe:

1951: Marilyn performs a cartwheel, photograph by Anthony Beauchamp

(via li-l-i)

Revision

3

beast and foliage

beast and concrete

home is wherever

yr marrow can find bone

 

Commentary:

There is a path that beats

In me

There is a border of moss and

Golden, silent spaces, ignorance.

There is glittering slabs of stone

Clear panes to watch yr neighbor

‘Knowing’ that is monitored.

But,

That is the precipice,

That is the corner, where

What you want to see &

What you have and have had to see

Meet

There is a river running down 

Yr throat

The roundness of you

Like mountains ever rising

ever falling

And great peaked paths your bones make

That go

Everywhere and no where

And don’t say, don’t speak

No fine print, just still

Full air

Our names aren’t there

But our bones, our blood is.

in the sediment that is falling

in the sediment that is rising

Creation & desolation

The things our skins

Can build & break

What am I doing now at 1:43 in the morning?  I am eating ginger snaps (that I got for free in one of my last classes) after taking an hour to will myself into taking my bra off and peeing.  And Tiana too.  And now we’re talking about how Lisa Frank was the purest time of our lives and that the drug dealer’s name in Death Proof is definitely an allusion to this.

What am I doing now at 1:43 in the morning?  I am eating ginger snaps (that I got for free in one of my last classes) after taking an hour to will myself into taking my bra off and peeing.  And Tiana too.  And now we’re talking about how Lisa Frank was the purest time of our lives and that the drug dealer’s name in Death Proof is definitely an allusion to this.

Today I made a short graphic novel with this.

Today I wake up in Daly CIty, pull back the curtain & there’s BART flying past, so big & I didn’t even know it was there till that curtain got drawn. Guess I slept naked under a Spongebob blanket between two strangers.

I remember I cried cause I couldn’t help it, when I drink, when my mind gets loose I can’t keep it in & I can’t help but see. There is a guy sleeping on the floor, “Fuck! Someone pissed on me.” “That was you man.” he gets up comes back w/ a Corona. “What time is it?” I ask.

10 O’ CLOCK in the AM babyyyyyyyy

I have to go. We fuck in the bathroom a pen holding back my hair (a trick my mother uses) then his sweetbrownnesss passing over me as he washes me off, even my face.

That roommates on a second Corona & has a deck of cards. “Pick one” he drawls in Portuguese. It’s one of those card tricks. He does it twice to finish his Corona, never gets my card & I don’t cheat him. “We’ll drive you home” I stumble down the stoop steps in my heels, my feet are beat by the city. On the porch I stand still for a minute and look. It could be anywhere. And across the street is a playground packed w/ kids, just playing. While I stalk by them on six inches in all black get into a gangster’s dream car, massive black SUV & this Corona man driving. Dropped home I call a cab. I have brunch. Waiting for it to come I sit nauseous and smoking a cigarette while I watch flies cover a dead baby bird in front of my steps.

The kind of sad things I need to do:

-pull the adhesive heating pack I’ve been wearing all day off.

-change bloody, hideous underwear.

-throw away the pile of condoms previously known as the trash can.

-roll a cigarette

-stop watching Black Books

-make sure there isn’t any shit on the cat.

-muster the will to have sex with a boy who talks too much.  i swear working in retail makes you wish that everyone would just shut the fuck up.  At least while i’m trying to orgasm.